Life Purpose & 1 Easy Way To Find It (2020)

Your life purpose is a calling. You are called and chosen to do it. If you do not believe you are chosen, you will not fulfill it. Your mind and your heart knows there’s more to life than this, and this activity is to help you see:

“All things work together for good.”

Apostle Paul in the Book of Romans

You can follow these directions or see this video below to learn how to do this. The video shows step by step, and is a good 10 minute investment to listen to in order to see my thought process and learn more about why I choose to help people with their emotional, spiritual, & fashion styling health.

How to find your purpose with one activity

Materials

  • Paper
  • Pen
  • A sound mind, meditate and take some deep breaths before starting.

The Process

  1. Think of a vision statement that would sum up what you want to do FOR PEOPLE. What is it you want to do to help someone is the best starting point in knowing your life purpose. My example in the video: “I don’t just want to get your fashion style right, I want to get your soul right.”
  2. Draw a circle around your vision statement
  3. From there, think of life experiences that have shaped your life. My example in the video is the creation of this website and the theme #BloomWithTherapy. Begin to think of the reasons “Your Why” (For me, I love flowers and the process of blooming. I love seeing others change using creative art therapy as it personally helped me, and my friends and family find healing in creating as well.)
  4. From that circle, create a new web of your experiences. For example, after circling #bloomwiththerapy, I decided to draw a line from it and list my experiences working in mental health. It can be words, phrases, or experiences. You can also draw symbols if something comes to you. For me, the butterfly comes up a lot in my life personally. I love learning about the process it takes to become a butterfly.
  5. Let the web continue and expand throughout the entire paper.

End Result

You will have an amazing sheet of paper that shows your true passions, and you get the WHY as to how this vision awakened you. From this I recommend doing a vision board, and creating a goal on how to reach your vision. Do not focus on many goals, just something one at a time. Break it down more and identify ways to get to that specific goal. Think about what you can do daily, weekly, biweekly, and monthly to get there. Do you need education, consultation, supplies, etc.?

If you have a hard time creating life goals, you can always get a free consultation with me.

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Suffering in Silence

3-ways-suffer-in-silence-latianna-therapy

There is so much opportunity in this world for support. 

The question you may be facing right now is where to start? You think about who can be there to help you hold space to share your story. You are hoping to feel better and to heal.

Taking the first step with a therapist, a family member, a significant other, a friend, or maybe even a coworker can bring up many feelings such as excitement and anxiousness. You are building up the courage to be bold because on the inside there are fears, tears, torments & chaos. You finally decide to self disclose and uncover a part of you that you may not want to talk about, because, let’s face it… it is hard to talk about our mental well-being. When you finally sit face to face with the person and begin share your inner conflicts, you become hopeful to have some form of relief. Sometimes it goes very well, and other times, it may not bring the relief you needed.

Your support of choice may say a variety of things:

“Aw, I hope you feel better.”

“You are strong and you will get through this.”

“You have x, y, and z so you should be fine.”

“I’ll pray for you.”

“Just pray and you will be okay.”

“It’s not a big deal, it could be worse.

“I am here for you if you need me just call.”

*Ignores your message and redirects the conversation.*

*Holds the silence with you* “What does it mean for you?”

“How can I hold you in this pace and support you?”

“Is that all?!”

We all mean well, but sometimes the people we choose will fail our hearts. Perhaps we put too much pressure on them. Maybe they are nervous and want to fix it for you. Maybe they are facing the same thing, and are afraid to share the same fears. They run away and avoid that reflecting mirror you are holding. So many reasons, but whatever the case may be you still feel unsatisfied. The trap of the enemy ensnares you when this happens. The most critical part of your mind says, “My voice did not matter after sharing. Look at how quickly my messages was swept under the rug.” This could have been a therapist (we aren’t perfect), this could have been a mother, a sister, a brother, a friend, or even a lover that has failed to give you what you were trying to seek: 

SUPPORT & EMPATHY IN THE PRESENT MOMENT. 

Now you find yourself sitting alone in your room. You reflect on what just happened. Your mind begins to play tricks on you. 

“Well, (insert person’s name) totally thinks I am crazy. I mean did you see the look on their face!?”

“Am I am overreacting?”

“What was the point to share myself?

“I held this in for so long.”

“I am tired of the silent suffering.” 

Research says therapy is helpful and reaching out for support is a good thing. But why does reaching out feel like it was a bad thing once we try? Why do we feel lost and unsatisfied?

For one thing, we forget we are responsible for our feelings, and we cannot have someone cope with our pain and take it away from us. They can only listen and help in the way you tell them to. Another thing is that you should be very proud of yourself and show yourself more compassion. Because you know what? You did all that you can do with that pain inside of you and you were able to give some of it out of your body. Just because it was not the outcome you may have wanted, you made a direction towards healing.

Never minimize your efforts. Examine and acknowledge the pain of it hurting when you finally give part of your pain away. When someone shuts down and is not able to respond with empathy or care according to what you needed or how you see it, it is still hurtful. That hurt feels very lonely. The focus on the other person places you to going back to square one:

Suffering in Silence

We find many ways to suffer in silence. We hide in it, and sometimes it is comfortable.

Here are 3 ways silence operates in your life:

  1. Suppression: You are not happy with the way life is going. On the outside you look fine, but on the inside there is a lot going on. You want to feel loved and feel supported. By the time you let it out, and the listener fails to reassure you, you go deeper into negative thinking. This is when the silence has a sound and it is attacking yourself with mental messages of “It does not matter. I do not matter. So what is the point? No one cares to help me.” Now more weight is holding you down and you may begin to feel less motivated to seek help. Suppressing the silence will make your stories die.
  2. “I am Strong” Persona: You hide behind your “I am strong” superhero cape. Because isn’t it true? You are strong, and you are fully able to get through it? Perhaps with time, but let’s challenge this with a question. How long can you carry more of your own burdens as you live your every day life? Playing the life of fantasy and becoming a superhero can only last so long. Even Superman had a weakness. When the kryptonite is revealed and exposed, Clark Kent could no longer function to his full capacity. He could not help others and he could not help himself.   
  3. Rationalization: According to how life is externally, you should not be feeling this way… right? This is where your mind could say, “It could be worse, at least you are not homeless,” or “There will always be someone worse off than me.” Thinking logically and overanalyzing does not always produce positive results. These form of statements can force your mind and body to numb your feelings. Numbing is not healthy. Denying your feelings can be harmful in the long run. We have feelings because it brings signals to our body and our mind. It is our metal detector. It helps to detect when something is harmful or confusing.

Now, you may be wondering how to end the silence once and for all. It will take continual effort on your part.

Lets look at 3 ways to break the silence.

Stay open to the possibility that you will be seen and be heard.

LaTianna, Drama Therapist & Change Artist

​​

1) ​​Do not give up.

Keep seeking until you can find the right therapist that is clinically sound and empathic. The same applies to other relationships. Tell them what you need and be truthful when they are not being supportive. Sometimes others do not know how to handle what you tell them. 

2) Get into movement.

You are sensing in your body that something is not right. The more you are unable to figure it out in your mind, it is important to get that energy out of you by trying a creative activity.

​​You can journal, paint, create a monologue, dance, make a collage of feelings, run, exercise, sing, complete yoga. As long as you are in movement, the energy you are holding onto can be released for temporary relief.

3) Attend community events & groups.

It is possible to find group support. Some groups are anonymous (for example co-dependent anonymous{Al-Anon}, AA, etc.). Community mental health agencies can provide opportunities to use your voice. If you want a creative community, try out open mic nights or groups that like to get together and use music and poetry.

​​Consistently attending a group once or twice a week is better than keeping silent. You can also ask your healthcare provider to see if they have any leads. You can also join one of my meet ups.  

The core of suffering in silence is that voice of SELF-ACCUSATION and the STIGMA that is found in sharing your mental health needs.   

LaTianna, Drama Therapist & Change Artist

I am here to tell you that there is hope, even if you do not feel hopeful. There is community, even if you have not found the right one yet. It may take time to build in the same place. It may take another place. Do not give up. Listen to your intuition. I I hear you and this is why I write this to you.  Please share your story and use your voice.

Here are some resources you can try.

You can also book your free 15 minute consult with me here

Was this a helpful article? Share your thoughts below, and share to your social media to spread the message of suffering in silence.

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7 Mindsets That Influence Your Self Love Life

When your feel as if your identity is threatened, be sure to look out for these characters playing in your life. It’s so easy to put on these masks of characters because for the most part we are not consciously aware of how our thoughts come into play. To make this more interesting, I have personified each character. They will be presented in form of monologue.

If any of these sound familiar, stay tuned below for a way to overcome these mindsets with a free resource.

1) The Critic

If I insult you, I make sure it really hurts. I want to make you feel as if you’re incapable of moving forward in your life. I know the best things about you. It seems you forget this from time to time. I make you focus on all the negative attributes about yourself. I make you feel as if you’re not enough. I don’t even need to take you to court because you judge yourself guilty as charged! I come knocking at your door everyday, hoping you will let me in during your most vulnerable times. I patiently wait because you let me in just enough to get you down. You point out everything that is wrong with you, from your face to the way you walk and put on makeup. You feel stuck when you see your own reflection in a mirror. There is always something to point out that you hate about yourself. One zit. Big nose. Small nose. Tummy pouch. Small thighs. Oh my, I have so many insults to tell you that it would take too long to describe them all! I am your faithful critic. My negativity is endless. I’ve always wanted you to belong to me. I love it when you accomplish things in your life because you never look at the wins, you look at everything you did wrong along the way.  The ‘should haves’ take you out of purpose. I get you so focused on the past that you fail to live in the present. I am your critic, and I will always be here for you. Don’t ever let me go.

2) The Comparer

“If I was to wear that, it wouldn’t look as great as it looks on her.”

“I just don’t understand why she got chosen to promote that brand?”

“They totally do it better than me.”

“Maybe one day I’ll be at that level.”

Replaying these lines in your mind will always lead to me. My name is Comparer. I’m here to make sure you get distracted by what others are doing. I help you forget that you have goals that only you can walk out in a specific way. You really should stay in your own lane, but you love to stop and look at everyone else’s lane on the race track. Racers never win this way. Racers practice, and work hard on themselves to prepare for the ultimate and unpredictable race called life. They know that one day there will be an opportunity to rise and shine. They don’t block other’s time to shine with negative words, insults, and gossip. Sad to tell you this, but your intentions are impure. You want want to see how everyone operates in the world and discredit yourself. You were always qualified for greatness, but you threw in the towel way too early. Don’t you know you must live life by faith and not by sight? You continue to inspect how others move in their own space. They are blessed, and you criticize it. You see their gifts and talents, but you say that you “can do it better” or that you “can never pull that off.” I make you think everyone else is succeeding except for yourself. You do not see the full picture. As your comparer, I elevate others and it forces you to be jealous and lower your self -perception. I enjoy helping  you forget to be thankful for the progress you’ve made in your life. I’ll give you some advice, only because I feel sorry for you: Be thankful for your current needs being met. If you continue to use me, you will ultimately become a spectator for the rest of your life. I’m okay with that, we can size up so many people that way. You will be exhausted by the never ending list of things I can say to make you feel jealous and low. Maybe one day you’ll be a participator and finish your race strong.

3) The Perfectionist

I send anxious messages into the atmosphere all day and it’s nonstop. I wait until you catch one,  or two, or a few. You know what they are because it’s within in your genetic makeup. Those expectations you got from your family and society were not always healthy. For some reason you know it, but you ignore it. You live in pilot mode, not realizing how your striving for perfection makes you perform below your potential. You’re performing for an audience of one, because no one stays in your life long enough to see how it all plays out. I am the true fantasy and dreams do not come true through me. My name is perfection. I am so powerful that there was a research study on me and athletes. It was said that 50 percent of athletes would choose to die in five years if there was a drug to have the most perfect performance of their entire career. These athletes did not mind dying a few years later, just to have one perfect performance! Even though it is a hypothetical question, they embrace me. But let’s face it, I am the thing no one can attain. Being perfect does not gain you a higher following or a closer relationship to others. They want to see your authentic self, but you still choose me. You make them believe you’re superman, but I know your kryptonite. I kill your creativity. Creativity never comes from a safe place. It takes a risk of exploring new things and making mistakes.  Taking on perfection will make you feel empty and unfulfilled. A piece of advice: Do it afraid, not accurately.

4) The Unsatisfied

I keep you wanting more. Many of times you wonder when everything will all pay off… You cannot get enough of anything. You fail to see the joy you can receive from the smallest of things. Maybe you are unsatisfied with your current job, relationships, and life routine.  The list can go on for miles. I make you see your life experiences in the worst of ways. You want an end result to something not knowing how much work it will take to stay in a state of being content. You might as well continue to take everything for granted!

5) The Doubter

Like a storm in the sea, doubt can shake you into the deepest confusion. You can never have what you say, because you go back on what you said in the first place. Truly you find yourself in a tug a war with me. I am your Doubter. I make you feel less confident in your abilities. It’s as if you cannot rely on yourself. You think you need to wait for favorable circumstances to pursue purpose and get things done. I am such a liar, but you love to be cheated on. You listen to me. You read my lips. You begin to doubt your intuition when you are with me. This wavering keeps you caged inside your insecurities. What a fearful thing it is to not be able to trust yourself and your abilities.

6) The Unforgiven

I’m the invisible poison you drink every time you fail to surrender your rights of being angry towards someone. I make sure you never forget how others offended you. My name is Unforgiven, and it’s always nice to meet you again. My number one goal is for you to forget compassion. To have no compassion when you or others mess up. If you are waiting for someone to pay the price for their wrongdoing(s), you may never receive the crown of freedom and healing. There never is a genuine apology. You wait for days, months, and years, hoping to get the justice you’ve been seeking. Sadly, you will never find it. It may never happen. You must trust this: you reap what you sow. Nothing is new under the sun. Consequences may not be played out right away, and you have no control over what others choose to do with their life. Let it go so healing and love can be placed inside of you once more.

7) The Inferior

It’s me, Inferior. I make sure to make you shrink so no one sees you. The funny thing is, I’m usually not that confronting. I like to keep a low key. Don’t worry you won’t notice I’m here. It appears that underneath it all you’re afraid of what rejection can do to you. You use me as a defense mechanism to stay ‘socially safe.’ There is still a fear that you carry. It makes you want to hide. Just know that every time you choose me, you are not choosing love, but fear. You think it is better to bring yourself low instead of someone else doing it. You come up with the wrong conclusions most of the time. You forget how much larger than life you can be when you leave me alone.

Do you find yourself in any of these roles? If you want to make a change, download my free self love workbook! Let me know what you think about these monologues below.

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